Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize