What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
