Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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