Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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