Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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