I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
People with herpes should wear stickers.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
