I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
