i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
