Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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