thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
