yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
