He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
