you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
