what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
