Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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