Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
