What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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