I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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