my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
