I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
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Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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