I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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