Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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