Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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