if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
