No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
