I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
