Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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