Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
