First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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