Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
