worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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