I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize