She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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