Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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