my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
