DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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