just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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