We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
