whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
