Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
