I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize