Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
