I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it's like heaven, but drunker
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
