no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Semen is not good for contacts.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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