Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
zippers are such a cool invention
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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