if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
