It's Friday. Sex?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
