The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
