dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
stop calling my apartment porn island.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
