Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
