Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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