She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize