I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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