No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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