remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
