So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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