im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
